Many people today would like everyone to believe that being single is every bit as good as being married. However, this goes against the basic principle that no one on earth, man or woman, was created for their own sake. In reality, all people were created for the sake of others (TCR 406). It is the particular case with women that they:
This passage also reflects a similar fact regarding the wisdom of a man, that it was not created for its own sake, but for the sake of giving form to the life brought to it by its wife.
The basic fact of creation is that being single is not better than being married. This stems from the fact that:
For those who would argue this point, let them consider that:
Marriage is preferable to remaining single because, as will be seen, the only truly good manner of being single is to abstain from licentiousness, lasciviousness, and the resulting sexual activities. In other words, the only orderly form of single living is celibacy. And, as was stated above, marriage is preferable to celibacy. Therefore it can be seen that marriage is an integral part of life that is to be pursued in relation to spiritual life even with those who, on this earth, are unable to find a suitable partner. More on this below.
The mindset for marriage is a mental approach to life that is affirmative to spiritual living. The mindset for marriage is a perspective that seeks to love others outside of itself and attain wisdom of life. The mindset for marriage requires that a person acknowledge God and His role in their life so that He will be able to work with them in preparing them for marriage and the happiness of life in heaven.
Too often the world mistakes cleverness for wisdom (CL 182). “An ability to confirm whatever one pleases is not the mark of an intelligent person; rather, the mark of an intelligent person is to be able to see that truth is true and falsity false, and to confirm that” (CL 233). The mindset for marriage requires people “to think and draw conclusions from ends and causes [for this] is to proceed from goods and truths seen in the higher region of the mind to their effects in the lower region – this being the way of human rationality from creation” (CL 408).
The single most important aspect of right thinking is to not attribute to nature things that rightly are God’s (CL 415). Too often when it comes to marriage, marital relations, or other related subjects, people’s minds turn to nature, which is to say science, to explain phenomena which are predominantly spiritual, and therefore from God. The fact is “nature was created to serve the life which is in God and from God … Nature in itself is lifeless, and thus does nothing of itself, but is actuated by life” (CL 415). Therefore, it is important, when thinking about preparation for marriage, to realize that the Word of God reveals truths which are true not just in some ethereal fashion, but in down-to-earth, real-life ways.
There is a bit of a warning in the statement that “all in heaven worship God, and all in hell worship nature” (CL 415). The fact is “people who believe that the Divine operates in every single thing of nature, can, from the many things which they see in nature, confirm themselves on the side of the Divine, just as well as and even more than those who confirm themselves on the side of nature” (CL 416, see also CL 417). Whereas “people who attribute all things to nature see these wonders, indeed, but they think only that they exist, and say that nature produces them” (CL 416). Therefore “let everyone guard himself, therefore, from confirmations on the side of nature. Let him confirm himself on the side of the Divine. There is no lack of material for it” (CL 421).
There is one particular aspect of marriage and human life which seems most often to be put off as non-essential, the church. Truly conjunctive marriage, with all of its joys, is only available to people who pursue true spiritual life, the life of religion. If “church is just not your thing” it should be a matter of reflection that the Lord teaches that “no good love exists in people who reject the sanctities of the church and banish them from the front of their heads to the back, or from before their hearts to behind them” (CL 240). This is not to say that only priests and other full-time employees of the church can have true love. Rather, it is the case that no matter what your occupation, believing in the Lord God Jesus Christ, shunning evils, and doing good must be central to your decision-making process, your lifestyle, and your preparation for and participation in marriage.